I've figured out my calling in life. I've tried everything I could to get what I called a real job. A 9-5 paid every two weeks sort of thing. But, because of something or other I wouldn't get a job. I tried to ignore it for as long as I could but I couldn't deny the passion I held deep inside.
So, to my dismay I gave up applying for countless jobs. And it hit me " what if I couldn't write something when it comes to me? I need this job. I will just write it later." I've said these words so many times that I started to believe that God would listen to me.
I'm not sure why I love public speaking. I shouldn't because of the way I talk. But, I love talking in front of people. It's honestly my most favorite thing to do and with that said please, keep all your snide remarks to yourself.
My heart has been broken for people. I've been through the fire. I've been reshaped and remolded into something more beautiful and better than I was before because I was somewhat willing to give up the things I loved most to get myself in better shape.
I love people. I think people scare me. I don't do good with one on one's because it's easier for them to make fun of me. I'm pretty much use to the whole making fun of thing.
But, back to the writing thing it was a way for me to get what I held inside out. I have a lot to say and I feel like if I can get it out on paper it would be easier to explain how I was feeling at the exact moment.
I was given a gift. I wasn't too sure on how I would use it but, I'm slowly learning how it not only helps you but helps me.
You see, when I write something it's my way of letting go and moving on from whatever it is that has been harboring in my soul.
Letting go is easier said than done we all know that and because we need to forgive the person and move on from it. We cannot change them no matter how hard we try it will not ever happen.
When I write something from the heart I part ways with it. I don't go back and read it again or speak about it. I've learned that if I want to heal I need to give it up or else the pain will eventually break me down to the point where I become helpless and need to give it up.
It's been awhile since I've written in my blog I understand this I'm getting ready for a book tour. I firmly believe God opened all these doors. I do desperately wanted into Barnes and Nobel but God had other plans and for that I'm going to hastings.
There are over 10 Hastings in Oklahoma. God knew I wouldn't be happy with just a few stores. He ken my heart and my heart longs to be free and I love to travel.
God has provided. God gave me more than enough and for that I give him thanks because my heart longs to please him.
Now, back to this whole writing career it wasn't my number one choice. I had high HIGH hopes on one day being a Judge.
I know strange right, well my heart is in law. My mind thinks in a business mindset. I have a passion for people.
I think with this book it gave me a second look at myself and within and I immediately started to disqualify myself because I don't belong in that place and so, I argued and to much avail God won( he will always win. Even when I think I won)
God spoke so very clearly to me that my calling would be difficult and not many can accomplish it. I being a Sarah laughed it off. I mean let's be honest who's gonna listen to me?
Thus starting the whole disqualification once again and my soul wouldn't have it. We all fought. I mean like yelling matches and temper tantrums to the max to the point you'd think he was arguing with a child.
Yes, I'm adult. Yes, I'm still in shock. But, you see once I got myself out of the way he was able to get back in front of me.
Okay, now you're still wondering about my unique calling well, if I told you it wouldn't be a mystery now would it?
My heart for people will always out way my own problems. I am so excited for this new year and the people I will meet and get to talk to because I listened and I obeyed.
I want you to know that if you are still trying to figure out what it is you are called to do stop pushing it. I knew who I was at the age of 17 don't be discouraged if you haven't figured it out
Be blessed. For you are highly favored. For his grace and mercy are free flowing. He will always welcome you back with open arms. You are not too far from God.